Many politicians are only "dumb" because you'll accept a stupid explanation for their inexcusable behavior.
#libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) October 1, 2014
from Twitter https://twitter.com/GodfreyWagmore
Your ever faithless guru waxing poetic about humor, belief, politics and how to be a generally good human being despite all that.
Many politicians are only "dumb" because you'll accept a stupid explanation for their inexcusable behavior.
#libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) October 1, 2014
ISIS war GOP rationale: They're for it but not Obama. So... don't vote, encourage war powers use, then condemn his imperialism. #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) October 1, 2014
#boldprediction
Tomorrow, something related to 1Direction will trend WAY higher than things that are actually important.
#libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) October 1, 2014
#boldprediction
John McCain decries some news event as unacceptable, blames Obama and insists we bomb something to fix it.
#libcrib #t #tcot
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
Ebola in Texas: if only they'd BUILT THE DAMN FENCE!!
#libcrib #t #tcot
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
Romney says he might run in 2016. Why not? GOP field is as awful as it was in 2012 & we know Mitt doesn't mind the mud. #libcrib #tcot #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
How to tell if you're white: Go shopping with a long gun strapped on. Still alive? Congrats, you're white.
#gunsense #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
So congress will come back to grill secret service on WH intruder. Vote on military action against ISIS? Not so much. Shameful. #t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
One day, we will invent immortality. Then where will God hide?
#atheism #t #atheistrollcall
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
Heaven may exist, but we haven't built it yet.
#atheism #t #atheistrollcall
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
We seek immortality in the future while forsaking the indelible tapestry we have woven into the past.
#atheism #t #atheistrollcall
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
If oblivion is not plausible upon death, then your faith is fixed on self-preservation, not finding the truth.
#atheism #t #atheistrollcall
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
The closer death comes, the more willingly we trade logic for hope.
#t #atheism #atheistrollcall #godless #skeptic
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
Fear of death is a powerful motivator for many irrational acts.
#t #atheism #atheistrollcall #Godless #Skeptic
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
Common core: is it bad or are you just embarrassed that your son has to help you help him with his homework?
#CommonCore #t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 30, 2014
The slow demise of common core: proof that the only "common" allowed in public education is "lowest common denominator."
#t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 29, 2014
You are reading this because 70 years ago today @Cern, which gave birth to the world wide web, was founded. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 29, 2014
There are horrible things in our American history. Patriotism is loving our country in spite of them, not in willful ignorance of them. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 29, 2014
Polls find Americans think ISIS threatens America BUT ALSO our conflict with ISIS won't affect us much. WTF America?
#tcot #t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 29, 2014
I've got a while bunch of umbrellas. Can we get some representative democracy over here too?
#t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 29, 2014
How to reach & motivate low-info voters without lying or insulting them? GOP has the recipe... except for lying part.
#t #libcrib #tcot
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 29, 2014
According to Gump: stupid is as stupid does. Who'll look dumb when "the stupids" vote to hand the Senate to the GOP?
#t #libcrib #tcot
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 29, 2014
#libcrib #t
Breaking: Details leak of secret GOP door-to-door push using male Fox pundits to get out the vote.
Codename: #BoobsOnTheGround
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 29, 2014
If Obama had waited until #NationalCoffeeDay to do his #LatteSalute, would Fox News still find a way to be insulted by it?
#t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 29, 2014
Things I've learned from auditing my followers list:
1.) Everybody is a writer
2.) "Inspirational" people have the most followers
#t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 28, 2014
Look, I can admit climate change is real later, but right now I have to make this money... our someone else will. -rationalizing greed #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 27, 2014
If credibility is calling someone at the wrong address a liar then Palin's got it in spades. #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 26, 2014
According to GOP campaign ads: ISIS are Mexican terrorists crossing the border to take our jobs. NO AMNESTY! #sigh #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 25, 2014
Irony: GOP armchair quarterbacking Obama ISIS campaign when they should be on the field ACTUALLY quarterbacking. #libcrib #uniteblue #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 25, 2014
#StopRush? Isn't he already irrelevant? He only gets press for being inflammatory. Much like Coulter. #ignoreignore #t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 25, 2014
#StopRush
“Caca poo-poo doodie pee-pee fart bubble” – Rush Limbaugh (translated for intellectuals)
Rush Limbaugh memes: shooting fish in a barrel. So? Still enjoy the target practice!
#StopRush #UniteBlue #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 25, 2014
Fox News coffee: white with as much POTUS creamer as they can manage. #LatteSalute
Seriously #tcot? #LatteSalute? There's a lot going on in the world. Try to focus on the bigger picture.
#libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 24, 2014
They should rename #Libertarianism to Oblivioselfishism.
#libcrib #uniteblue #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 23, 2014
Remember after November when Congress criticizes Obama's handling of ISIS war: they abdicated & went on vacation. #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 23, 2014
We don’t need to save Earth. In fact, it might prefer we end the growing pest that is humanity.
It's not always possible to know the truth, but it's easy to suss the lies. The only barriers: laziness & confirmation bias. #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 21, 2014
The greatest Republican presidents in our history would be thrown out of the modern GOP.
Quarter Eskimo disembarking from Alaska aircraft: just not that Inuit.
#t #haha #badjokes
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 20, 2014
Isn't John McCain the worst cranky old backseat driver ever? And he's steering us into war...
#t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 20, 2014
Y'all say the GOP House does nothing. I disagree. Shoving your nose up donor butts to get reelected is very hard work. #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 19, 2014
Roger Goodell has an unhealthy relationship with the press. They keep beating him up. He keeps coming back for more. #nfl #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 19, 2014
You know your car is getting old when it looks better BEFORE the car wash than it does after. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 19, 2014
If “no infringement” means no regulation, then we’ve got tanks on a slippery slope.
Tweeting the hashtag #GlobalApology. What things should we truly be apologetic for?
Recently on Hannity, Sarah Palin said, “I owe America a global apology” for not winning the 2008 election. Of course, it’s ridiculous Palin-ese but I thought it would be fun to list “global apologies” America should actually be sorry for.
Here’s my list (in no particular order):
Miley Cyrus music, Miley Cyrus fashion sense, Miley Cyrus videos, anything Hannah Montana, Scentsy parties, Westborough Baptist Church, Hobby Lobby, Veggie Tales, YOLO, TmZ, The sham wow, selfies, emoticons, Ted Cruz, food bloggers, KFC double down,
Anti-vaxers, climate deniers, creationists, anything Kardashian, George Zimmerman (and by extension: The American justice system)
What are your “global apologies”? Tweet #GlobalApology!
Americans watching international news tonight, "Wait... Scotland isn't already a country?" #t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 19, 2014
Bipartisanship: only possible at the point of a gun or when we're about to point our guns at someone else. #ISIS #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 18, 2014
Kobach: was format of Kansas SC ruling good enough for you? Pat Roberts is done & maybe also GOP's senate takeover bid. #libcrib #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 18, 2014
#ISIS - One of the few problems in this world that can't be solved with bacon. #t #libcrib #uniteblue
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 18, 2014
Today GOP announces Hillary Clinton is running for president with encore #Benghazi dog & pony show. #t #libcrib
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 18, 2014
#CynicalAwfulness #t
If I was the American Military Industrial Complex, I would invest in ISIS beheadings - great returns.
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 15, 2014
How the hell is Scott Brown even competitive in NH? He's a carpet bagging shill for Wall St!! Surely NH voters are smarter than that... #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 15, 2014
If “no infringement” means no regulation, then we’ve got tanks on a slippery slope.
Dogs sniffing tree then peeing on it: their equivalent of checking facebook. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 14, 2014
Has Dick Cheney been practicing his British accent? The motivations & (costly) outcomes are the same. #t
pic.twitter.com/xw5jE3MFay
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 14, 2014
Health reform is a trojan horse. We must give the monied interests a pretty horsey, then spring the trap. #t pic.twitter.com/vHjEtLEVnP
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 14, 2014
Overheard at the bar, "What did the bra say to the hat? Go on ahead. I'll give these 2 a lift." Yuk yuk... #t #badjokes
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 14, 2014
There are some really great people among those jerkwads. Odd. Refreshing. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 13, 2014
Attention MSM: It's called the #AppleWatch, not the #iWatch. Please stop embarrassing yourselves. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 12, 2014
#NeverForget Selective justice is just revenge in a pretty dress. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
When I look at the #VAScandal, waiting lists & red tape our vets face, I wonder if we're choosing to #NeverForget the wrong things. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
We will #NeverForget but as we turn our eyes to ISIS will we also #NeverLearn? #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
#NeverForget The son who died avenging the son who died avenging the son who died avenging the son... (*n) who died on 9/11. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
#NeverForget sacrifice is the most noble gift. For leadership to waste it is an un-pardonable offense. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
#NeverForget Emotions are a terrible platform to base foreign policy decisions upon. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
#NeverForget 2,996 US civilians killed on 9/11. 174,000 Afghani civilians killed since 9/11. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
#NeverForget that the status of our national pride should never hinge on our ability to get revenge. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
#NeverForget there are always bad people & they win when good people stoop to their level. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
#NeverForget that tragedy breeds fear which can be used to manipulate us into quagmires. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 11, 2014
What's the big deal is with #NetNeutrality?
After all, we live in a capitalist so...(LOADING...)
(LOADING...)
#InternetSlowdown #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 10, 2014
As a kid, I knew the difference between real guns/violence and the fake kind. I never needed real guns. #gunsense
#atheism The key component of “imaginary friend” is imagination and yours is way better than the “standard options.”
#t #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear
Comic
Sans
BANNED!
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear (Not)
"It won't flush."
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear (NOT)
"I just farted!"
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
Barbarino & gerry curled preacher recover Ving Rhame's soul.
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
Samuel L. Jackson uses colorful language involving maternal fornication.
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
Vincent Price's son realizes his dream of being a beautician.
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear #DrWho
"I'm the doctor."
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear (apparently...)
"I love emoticons!"
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear
"Winter Is Coming" - assuming she's a geek
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly #ExplainManyFilmPlotsBadly
Bruce Willis is a cop who doesn't play by the rules.
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
An overlong episode of Supernanny with singing and penguins.
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
Farmer sabotages his livelihood in order to teach James Earl Jones a lesson.
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
Some comedy where everyone looks suspiciously like Eddie Murphy.
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
Hero defeats an ogre, gets with the girl on the moon, wins the olympics, and highlights booger in a musical finish
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#t #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
Mermaid shuts up to get laid.
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly Arnold kills a bunch of people. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly A Sicilian, a giant, and a Spaniard engage in inconceivable shenanigans. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly Some rude kid lies to his parents, skips school, and wrecks a Ferrari. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly A grumpy midget helps a pretty girl tell David Bowie he's powerless. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly A man and a dog fly through space in search of yogurt in order to stop a giant hoover. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
My fav show on #TruTV: that one where washed up D-listers make fun of videos. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
#ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear
"Where to ma'am?"
#Driverless #MotoChauffeur #mc #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 8, 2014
“I love you” is great but, for the long haul, these are the REAL #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear.
I was recruited to create some memes to help celebrate John Fugelsang’s birthday and promote #GiveJohnFugelsangAShow. I had fun making them and the positive reaction on Twitter was cool too!
Obama doesn’t let the bullies and fear-mongers rule his decision-making and neither should you.
That time they made a trailer for Labyrinth that seemed like a horror movie & not a muppet musical. Oh wait... that was the orig trailer! #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 3, 2014
Please pardon all the fugelsangy tweets, but we're storming #GiveJohnFugelsangAShow. I made a lot of the memes. Pretty cool, eh? #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 3, 2014
At D & B Supply, they’ll mug you with a gun (handle). Get your buckshot too! Makes a great gift.
Rolling forward in the left turn lane when the people going straight get the green light. #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 3, 2014
So GOP has abandoned attacking #obamacare as an election strategy, but given Obama approval ratings, isn't the damage already done? #t
— Godfrey Wagmore (@GodfreyWagmore) September 2, 2014